


tentacleTherapist's SBURB Walkthrough v6.0 (December 4, 2011)

by liquidCitrus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon is fictional, Gen, Guide, Homestuck LP AU, Sburb game AU, walkthrough
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-15
Updated: 2011-11-28
Packaged: 2017-10-26 02:59:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/277924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquidCitrus/pseuds/liquidCitrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>April 13, 2009.</p><p>This was the day I installed Sburb, left the Child, Role and Aspect generators on random, and received portraits of four children that reminded me uncannily of myself and my best friends. Assuming you haven’t been living under a rock for the past two years, their names will be familiar: John Egbert, Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, Jade Harley.</p><p>In this universe, Sburb is a game and Homestuck is fictional, but EB, TT, TG and GG are still intact, and Rose writes a very different walkthrough as a result.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sburb Character Creation Guide](https://archiveofourown.org/works/211975) by [Xalrath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xalrath/pseuds/Xalrath). 
  * Inspired by [Let’s Play Sburb: Commoner Cycle Modstravaganza](https://archiveofourown.org/works/230928) by [NonPlayerCharacter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NonPlayerCharacter/pseuds/NonPlayerCharacter). 
  * Inspired by [Self-Imposed Challenge](https://archiveofourown.org/works/160841) by [anonymousComrade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymousComrade/pseuds/anonymousComrade). 
  * Inspired by [Sburb Patch Notes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/233890) by [anonymousComrade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymousComrade/pseuds/anonymousComrade). 



SBURB Walkthrough v. 6.0 (December 4, 2011)

by tentacleTherapist  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------  
This walkthrough is dedicated to the real John, Dave, and Jade.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------  
Table of Contents (Sub-tables of contents are available within each subsection, due to sheer unwieldiness.)

[!000] Preface

[0000] Introduction

[1000] Mechanics

[2000] The Players

[3000] The Mythos

[4000] The World

[5000] Enemies

[6000] Consorts and Puzzles

[7000] Choosing Your Final Boss

[8000] The End (Or Is It?)

\----

[A000] Salvaging Your Session

[B000] The Shipping Matrix

[C000] Recommended Game Mods

[X000] Glossary

[Y000] Changelog

[Z000] Coda

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[!000] Preface

I suppose I might begin this walkthrough, now, two and a half years after its first inception, with an account of why I encountered Sburb in the first place, and what has happened since then. Like the fact that my original encounter with this game was naught more than an accident.

With nothing better to do, one snow-blown late-November afternoon, being without the companionship of my classmates (they were occupied in reviewing for finals), I wandered into a nondescript game shop in an equally nondescript suburb in search of Christmas presents for my friends.

Dave (the one you might know better, in fictional guise, as turntechGodhead), who was in possession of a subscription to GameBro at the time, obliquely hinted to me that he wanted a particular popular game that shall remain unnamed. Accordingly, I was planning to purchase a copy for him.

Except that I walked out with two games in my shopping bag and wondered, afterwards, what had possessed me to look into the discount racks in search of my own entertainment.

It goes without saying that the second game was Sburb, by Skaianet Laboratories. An expansive game world, they said. An elaborate mythos, a sandbox as practically open as was possible to fit in games of the current technology level. I thought it would provide more entertainment per dollar than even the copy of some Tetris or Bejeweled knockoff that was below it for a mere $2. I was, eventually, proven right.

But that day, I stuffed the game in question into a dark corner in my bookcase, intending to retrieve it within a few days, and forgot about it.

Enter spring cleaning, the next April. Whilst dusting the bookcase in question, I happened to disturb the case of Sburb, and drew it out, remembering the circumstances of its original purchase. I opened the case - two discs. Two-disc games were a rarity by then with the advent of the DVD, and I wondered what kind of content was within the game such that it would require two separate discs to carry.

I inserted the one marked as the first disc - a legend of Skaia and meteors and several utterly generic houses below - and briefly noticed the date.

April 13, 2009.

This was the day I installed Sburb, left the Child, Role and Aspect generators on random, and received portraits of four children that reminded me uncannily of myself and my best friends. Assuming you haven’t been living under a rock for the past two years, their names will be familiar: John Egbert, Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, Jade Harley.

My name was Rose Blakemore, and I was indeed acquainted with a John Tandler, Dave Clayton, and Jade Siu. Jade in the game, as in real life, was a dreamer; John was upbeat; Rose (in an almost uncanny mirror of my own proclivities) was given to verbosity; and Dave was well pleased with his counterpart’s matching proficiency in rap.

I promptly saved this game and emailed the file to the friends in question, asking them to go find a copy of the game and see if the children in the game didn’t act like them? John was the first to answer in the affirmative. Jade suggested that I upload the file to the Skaianet forums and ask if anyone else had had the same thing happen to them. Dave did not respond for two days, then told me that he had purchased a copy of the game and was attempting to complete it.

In an incredible streak of the RNG and what I can only call beginner’s luck, I managed to complete the Mobius Reacharound and get all these characters into the Medium in my first playthrough. Completing the rest of the game was rather more difficult, but with continued liberal use of save games I somehow managed to beat the game by sheer trial and error.

In the meantime, it had consumed my life. Between my Abnormal Psychology and Calculus classes, a mere two hours I would have spent on campus in earlier days, I dashed back to my apartment and attempted to prevent the AIs of fictional thirteen-year-olds from detonating explosively.

At the end of this rigamarole, when I had finally realized the new universe and sent my children through, I felt an incredible sense of elation. But at the same time, a sense of loss. I had been pursuing Sburb single-mindedly for the past month and, frankly, had nothing left to wedge in the gap. Thus, I wrote a walkthrough, and uploaded my save-game to the Skaianet forums to let others play around with it. I used my counterpart’s handle, tentacleTherapist.

All I can say to this is that it seemed appropriate to me.

One Andrew Hussie downloaded this save-game and used it as the basis for his Let’s Play, Homestuck, showcasing several of his own game mods, the most famous of which remain "SGrub", "Double Universe Reacharound", and "First Guardians". (One may notice that tentacleTherapist in Homestuck also writes a walkthrough. He corresponded with me to write these sections.) This Let’s Play quickly exploded in popularity, bringing Sburb to the attention of far more than it had ever had in its life.

Suffice it to say, the rest is history.

Full disclosure: This version of my walkthrough is sponsored by TechTime magazine, who acquired the Skaianet intellectual property after the game’s initial seeming demise and currently maintains Sburb. Please support me by supporting them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first half of the [1000] Introduction section. The next "chapter" will be the second half.

[1000] Introduction  
\--[1100] Original Introduction (May 16, 2009)  
\--[1200] Addendum (July 12, 2009)  
\--[1300] A Note to _Homestuck_ Readers (December 1, 2009)  
\--[1400] Circumstances (April 13, 2010)  
\--[1500] Updates (June 1, 2010)  
\--[1600] TechTime (November 6, 2010)  
\--[1700] From John (February 14, 2011)  
\--[1800] My Life (April 10, 2011)  
\--[1900] Further Elaboration (July 19, 2011)  
\--[1A00] Et-cetera (October 24, 2011)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[1100] Original Introduction

I suppose this is a walkthrough, then.

Forgive me for adhering to the proper formatting required of GameFAQs in this walkthrough - it is simpler for me to submit the same file to multiple locations than to engage in unappreciated and superfluous editing to adapt this document to the standards of the various venues I will probably utilize for distribution. However, as a concession, only the version of this walkthrough uploaded to GameFAQs will contain the entirely ridiculous ASCII art banner of the title of the game.

As for my credentials for writing this walkthough? Precious few, and that's if you count a high school diploma as at all relevant to the playing and dissection of a game like Sburb (hint: it isn't). I'm a second-year psychology student, yes, but that too has no applicability.

What I do have to my credit consists of one successful playthrough of Sburb.

Don't laugh. It took me a month, countless savegames, the reading of several other walkthroughs (none of which are complete, by the way), and copious amounts of Sheer Dumb Luck to get that far. What's more, from my research, about twenty other people have completed Sburb, ever.

That's rounding up, by the way.

Thus, I dearly hope this walkthrough will have an audience (not likely) and that it will be of use to said audience (despite the fact that it seems Skaianet Laboratories wasted their time creating difficulties above Normal).

\----

[1200] Addendum

It seems that my writing style has attracted certain complaints, namely: a) that I am trying too hard, b) that this writing is unreadably dense, and/or c) that I am showing off. To answer these complaints, this is how I write. I suggest that you deal with it.

I also suggest that one of my more intelligent readers perhaps translate this walkthrough into what Wikipedia calls "Simple English", as that seems to be necessary and I would be bored stiff if I tried to do it myself.

However, the very presence of such complaints demonstrates that I have apparently underestimated the projected reach of this document's distribution mechanisms. I was never a "popular girl" - intellect reacts unfortunately with those who read _Seventeen_ and _People_ \- and, as such, actually being sought out by multiple people is a novel experience for me.

Thus, forgive me if I am late in responding, or if I do not reply.

\----

[1300] A Note to _Homestuck_ Readers

 __

 _My introduction will be sparse. There will be no majestic prose blustering into the sails of a galleon as we embark on this voyage together. Nor will there be any hamfisted prose whipping its limbs under a bedsheet like a retarded ghost, for that matter. I won't set the stage, or dim the lights. The mood, you will see, will be set soon enough._

 _Since you are reading this, chances are you have installed this game on your computer already. If this is true, like many others, you have just participated in bringing about the end of the world._

Thus begins the walkthrough written by my fictional counterpart tentacleTherapist. I thank Andrew Hussie for not only using my save-game as the basis for his Let's Play, _Homestuck_ , but consulting with my friends and me about various aspects of our fictional characters and exposing Sburb to a wider audience than it would have had before.

I suppose I should warn _Homestuck_ readers that yes, Sburb is at least as difficult as it is portrayed to be. Possibly even more difficult - but any further movement in that direction would have stretched suspension of disbelief to unsustainable levels. As such, if you read _Homestuck_ before you began playing Sburb, I still recommend poring over walkthroughs. Multiple walkthroughs if you can find them.

On a lighter note: I will add references to what happens in _Homestuck_ as the story - and my walkthrough - proceed. They may help to illuminate certain portions of the landscape upon which we stand.

\----

[1400] Circumstances

I made it clear at the beginning that I was a student of psychology. However, between keeping this walkthrough updated and managing my status as a relative celebrity within the Sburb-playing cohort, I no longer have time for such studies. As such, I am dropping out to write full-time.

Obviously, this poses multiple practical questions. I need to eat, and I need somewhere to sleep, and both of those require money that is not automatically generated. I will have to pay down my student loans, and that is not even getting into questions of more sporadic matters like clothes and computer expenses.

Thus why I am writing this in my walkthrough and not on my proper blog; more people read the walkthrough. I could sell screen-printed T-shirts, though I don't think that would go over particularly well given intellectual property laws and the fact that my work is not even visual in nature. I could take commissions, writing of various kinds in return for medium-sized amounts of currency. I could also take donations, essentially letting all of you pay me for what I am already doing.

You may find a donation button on my website, tt's-walkthrough.etc.

Note (April 15, 2010): I have received such a deluge of offers for help, lodging, and various kinds of small-time sponsorship that it may take me weeks to sort through it all. I am grateful for this outpouring of support. Also, at the suggestion of prolificPalette, I'll start a contest for emblems that could be used on various kinds of branded merchandise. It may be cheesy, but I'm not about to turn down money.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually, despite the "second-year psychology" she professes to studying, Rose _is_ wrong on one point: the assumption that being intellectually gifted automatically means social ostracism. Many gifted kids, especially girls, deliberately play down their minds in order to fit in. This often works, but at the cost of the aforementioned minds, which is really a shame. But that's my favorite soapbox, so I should get off now before I write another essay's worth on it.
> 
> * * *
> 
> I'm not sure I'll delve into actually writing the meat of the walkthrough - I'd prefer to just pick portions out that I find most interesting, leaving most of the rest of the area to others for, say, references to sections that I have not written (I am not going to hog all the world-building).
> 
> That said, I'm still going to do plenty of my own work, especially in the framing universe (as opposed to the game - I have not played many games myself, so I am not experienced in such conventions).
> 
> Does this new theming work? I hope it does. I wanted the monospace look; I'm just hoping it's readable to everyone else.


End file.
